Joshua Keith Craft

0:52 So, we we were going to talk about uh the vow of prosperity or the vow we were going to talk about prosperity some more because we kind of left everyone on a cliffhanger last week. Yeah. But then um we're we're Today is Friday, March 27th, and I think we're going to post this probably today, maybe later tonight. So, we didn't post anything all week. Yeah. And there's a good there's a really good reason for that because you kind of had it wasn't like a maybe it was kind of like a cliffhanger in your own life. You weren't really sure last That's actually true, dude. I guess last Saturday was a very eventful day for Nick Surface and I was like, we should just we should just talk about your journey, man. Over the past week, we'll come back to talking about prosperity, which I so appreciate, man. And thanks for just being a friend that you are that you were like, "Hey, man." Like no pressure because I I was like, "Oh, I want to make sure we can record." And you're like, "Dude, you're in the hospital with your wife. Like just be there."

1:49 Yeah. And everyone will hear the story and they'll if I was like pressuring you to do a podcast, they'd be like, "How dare you?" Well, anybody anybody that knows you knows you wouldn't do that. Like if anybody that knows you would know that would never happen. Yeah, man. So So last Friday, last Saturday, we ran a 50-mi ultramarathon uh with you prepping. I mean, there's a bunch of people, right? a bunch of It started with like your wife, Rian, and Garrett's wife, Lindsay, and Joe's wife. Yeah. Yeah. Joe. Joe. Joe and Heather, some of our friends. And hey, we're all going to go run a 50 mile ultramarathon together. And you guys trained for I mean, it wasn't like you just showed up and did it. Like, you you trained for however. Girls trained even more extensively. Like, I'll be honest, man. I did this sort of minimal training plan. And And I also got to say, cuz I've run 100 mile ultramarathons, like 50 miles sounds very palatable. having, you know, I'll fast forward to to ruin it. My wife started getting heat stroke at the 36 and a half mile mark was when I pulled her out of the race. And I will tell you, if it wasn't for that, I would have I would have finished. Like it wasn't, you know, I was not feeling daunted.

2:51 The reason we pulled her out is because it was 96 degrees and my wife's from England. And so she um she just, you know, started showing some bad signs, man. And Garrett's a former Navy Seal, your best friend. and he said to me, he's like, "Hey, keep an eye on her because if she doesn't improve, you can't take her back out there." And she wanted to go back out. So, you know, basically, we pull her out, we're talking it through, and she's just progressively getting worse, man. She's vomiting, she's drinking a bunch of stuff, and it's just not going the way we want it to go. And so, I eventually like I was going to wait for them because we rode together, but I was like, I need to get her back. So, I get I get borrow someone's car. Uh she rals in the car on the way home. It was uh you know it was not great. And she started like she was hyperventilating the whole time and she was clearly I didn't realize it at the time but she was like going into shock, right? She's like shivering. We're trying to get her body temperature down. She's drinking all this water. She's throwing up and she's drinking more water. We're trying to get her back. What what that looks like and I didn't know this but when you're in shock your brain shuts down the parts that it doesn't need. And so she starts talking gibberish to me.

3:52 She's like and I'm like I can't understand you. That's why she raled in the car because she was trying to tell me I had to throw up but it was not English. And so I'm like leaning over to be like, "Wait, wait, what?" And then she starts like putting her hand over her mouth and I'm like, "Oh." So I'm trying to pull over and then she like her hand over her mouth like side launched it onto me. So I just see like this liquid just launch across and like land on my arms. I remember I was just like I took this like slow breath of okay, you know? So like this cuz I'm So what were you thinking at this point's happening? Yeah. Just dehydration and Yeah. I'm thinking get her home, get an IV. Like I've got I'm like I've got people texting me before. I've got like a really great community of people and they're like, "Hey, I've got an IV, you know, I'm they put me in touch with the people. They're going to be at our house when we get home, which, you know, praise God they're willing to get to our house at 10 10 p.m. on a Saturday." You know, they're driving up from Dallas to where we live in in Prosper. And so, but it's getting worse, man. And so, we get there and I I end up having to carry her into the house. We set her down. She takes the IV. She takes Zofran.

4:54 Zofran keeps you from from puking. And so I was like, "Great, job done. We'll get this IV in her. She's going to be fine." Well, fortunately, the person who does the IV is a registered nurse. Um, and she like was giving her stroke test, uh, which I will give background. Like my mom's or my wife's mom had a stroke last summer and then, uh, her brother, my wife's mom's brother died of a stroke unfortunately at, uh, Christmas. So, like, they're giving her stroke test. I'm just saying that because there's a lot of thought processes for fear to enter in here, which will make sense why I'm pointing that out in a second. So, we get her to she after taking that test, she's like, "Okay, she's not having a stroke." I'm like, "Praise the Lord." Then, like, she does the same test few minutes like 10 minutes later, she like, "Hey, we should get her to the ER cuz she's regressing." So, I'm like, "Great." Pick her up, carry her, take her to the ER, we get to the ER, I carry her into the ER. Um, they get her back, CT scan, and then we're back there together like 45 minutes later, and she's she starts having seizures, man.

5:46 Like, I've never seen someone have a seizure before. It was um I won't never forget it. like foam from the mouth and everything. They send me out of there and it ends up that like the doctor later told me she's like she was turning blue. We had to like literally step in and save her life. Like I would have lost my wife 100% if that this if it wasn't for the interaction of this ER doctor. So then they intubate her, knock her out, and she's out cold from Saturday, well I guess at this point it was Sunday early morning um all the way to to Monday afternoon. And so we've now been walking through this where she's in the hospital. She finally got released. Today's Friday, like you said, she got released yesterday afternoon. Um, just after a ton of rest, a ton of fluids, a ton of tests, MRI, you know, make sure that that everything it really was just because her sodium levels dropped. If you know what hyponatremia is, it dropped to like dly like you know how they say like, oh, too much of anything can kill you and people go like, yeah, yeah.

6:40 Well, like too much water can kill you and that's what's called hyponatremia because what happens is your kidneys can't process it fast enough and like balance everything else out. So like you your sodium levels drop and this is what happens. Your brain swells, you have seizures and you you die. Um and so she she was there, man. And um yeah, electrolytes, sodium, magnesium, stuff like that, that's what actually causes your brain to function. So right, when you don't have those in your b in your body, your brain shuts down, right? And everybody knows like, oh yeah, you should hydrate and drink like drink that stuff, it's really good, but you don't actually realize like especially when you're in like it was 96 degrees. That was the downside. Re was very prepared for this. what none of us were prepared for and what I don't think you could prepare for apart from, you know, having the foresight to know it was going to be this hot three months in advance because it's not supposed to be that temperature in Texas in March. But we got literally the hottest day of the year uh plucked right on the day that we we hit the race. And so, you know, honestly, Josh, like I've I've been thinking about this and I go, you know what? God knew, man, the whole time.

7:38 Like, who controls the weather, right? And it was 96 degrees for a reason. And that may sound really sadistic. Um, but man, like my overwhelming takeaway from this whole thing has just been the grace of God. Um, that his grace is sufficient for me. Dude, I'll tell you when I was driving my wife, like I could go into a lot about how much I feel like God's been training me in the past six years since you and I became friends, since I became part of our church. like heard your dad talk about thinking, became very close with your best friend in what we do and just the training that's gone on in that. Um, and we can get into that if you want. I want to go wherever you want. But what I'll tell you, God's grace is so much more is so sufficient. Philippians 4:11 through13 where he talks about, I know what it is to have plenty. I know what it is to have be want. And I've learned the secret in any and all things. I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me. I'm telling you that when your heart is right and what I mean by that and this is going to sound really uh maybe dark for some people I had to I I if my wife would have died I would have you know though he slay me yet will I praise him right like that's the job qu like that's what Job says and when you let go of outcomes and you truly just put it in God's hands and you say Lord like was I did I pray for my wife yeah of course I did was I when I was driving her to the to the ER car after carrying her to the car. I'm quoting Psalms 121. I'm literally going I I literally go like I lift up my eyes to the hills from where does my help come from? The Lord the maker of heaven and earth. And I'm just like and and I I went back and read that verse. I read the whole chapter to my kids the next day to let them know how we were going to roll through this because I set the tone for my kids. I said, "Mom's in the hospital. She's going to make a full recovery." By the way, she's unconscious when I'm saying that. Um and um and they're they're saying we have to make sure her brain's going to function correctly. She she could have brain damage from these seizures. I mean all that stuff.

9:34 Yep. That's that was the very first thing that they said. The doctors the doctors are not telling you it's it's no big deal. Don't worry about it. No. No. They're not like uh we see this all the time. Like it you know they didn't even know what it was at first. Like when she when she hit seizures the doctor like the ER doctor was surprised. Like he had me in there with her. You know what I mean? So like and he wasn't even in the room. I had to call him in. I was like, "Hey, get in." Like, and he came in and credit to the man. I've never shook a man's hand and said, "Thank you for saving my wife's life before." Uh, that that was the first time um that I've ever done that, man. And you know, but I'll just tell you like this is what I mean. I I'm saying this scripture on the way there. Um, as we're getting it and it's getting worse, I I just I Josh, I never felt any fear. I never had the whatif monster. I never had any anxiety. I told every doctor. I told every member of staff. My wife is walking out the front door of this hospital, which is exactly what she did yesterday. Um, and I just I just knew, man, I I don't even know like this is what I mean when I say God's grace is sufficient for you when when you're when you truly like the the way that you learn to be strong and courageous. In our church, in our men's ministry, we love Joshua 1:9, which is be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid. Do not be discouraged. For the Lord your God is with you wherever you go. Right? And like people can say that and theoretically go the reason you're not afraid is because the Lord's with you.

10:51 And that is actually but that's actually true. When the the the the reason he says do not be afraid, do not be discouraged. And he says be strong and courageous. So many times he says it three times in Joshua 1 before they start to go in and take the land. The reason he says that is because the only way that you can be strong and courageous is to have your trust in the right place. And and when your heart is truly submitted to God and your trust is in the right place, I will tell you, not one second did I have any fear. Not only did I not have fear, I literally was praying in tongues as we're going to the hospital and I just felt God say like, "It's not her time." And after that, I was like, "Check, I'm good." Now, and like I said, if he would have taken her, I would have still been good. I would have still said, "God, God is good." Now, my life would look a lot different. And I do not want that. I am so incredibly grateful that my wife is is home. she's going to live and and not die and proclaim the works of the Lord. Like it says in the Bible, she's going to have a long fruitful life. Um, but when you're in the midst of that sort of stuff and you don't know, I'll just tell you like one of the hallmarks of the Holy Spirit is boldness, right? And this could sound like the pat myself on the back podcast, guys. I will tell you I I do not have that kind of boldness characteristically. Like I'm I'm like the kind of guy like if you left me in my own devices, I'd be a sports and beer guy. I'd be an awesome guy to have at a party because I'm really funny and I I'll make people laugh, but I'm not like the boldness guy. I'm not like the let's change the world guy. Now, you you fill me with the Holy Spirit and oh man, different different person. And that's what they said about the disciples. The disciples weren't that way either.

12:18 They're a bunch of young fishermen depending on on you know whether you believe how young they were. And these are the guys that changed the world. It said the first time they spoke to the synagogue leaders, they took note that these men had been with Jesus. And that's exactly what it is. Because when the Holy Spirit hits you, the boldness you have is uncommon. So I'm in this hospital talking to ER people and every staff member and I'm telling them, "My wife's going to walk out that front door." We go in, they they move her to ICU. The first thing I tell all the staff, I said, "Hey, we're followers of Jesus and y'all need to know there's going to be worship music on in here and we're going to set the tone because my wife's walking out here." And I don't know why I get emotional. Well, I do. Anytime the Holy Spirit comes on me and I can feel the presence of God on me because it's such a testament to his goodness, I I get tears and you know, it's just the way I roll. It's the way the Holy Spirit hits me. And I'm just telling you, man, like there was one nurse and she said yes whenever I said that. And I said, "All right, you're my people." And I told every single doctor, man, the like the first night she was in the ER, she's unconscious. I I've this guy's told me that she would have died. I've gone home cuz I'm like, "Well, I guess I'm staying at the hospital next cuz that's where my wife's going to be." And I'm and like I just felt God say pack her clothes, the clothes she's going to walk out in. And I'm like, "Yes, sir." So I'm like I'm choosing clothes from my wife's drawer for her to walk out in. And and I'm telling these guys and like they all remembered because you know now it's a great story because we know how it ended and it's like oh I wasn't that cool. But I'm telling you, man, the this is why I say like his grace is sufficient for me because like I I know where my strength and my help came from in every single second. And and Josh, I can't tell you man. I feel like God has spoken to me and said like this was a training moment for you. Dude, I fear nothing. I truly fear nothing. Because like I was talking to Garrett and I was saying, "Oh, I hope I don't get tested again." Then I actually corrected myself because that's like traditional Christian speak. We go like, "Oh, I don't want the test." I actually said I was like, "You know what? I don't care if he tests me because the reason I don't care is because I know he'll be with me."

14:08 And and that is like to not have any fear. Like to have zero fear. I feel like Lord, whatever you call me to do because I know you'll be with me in the moment. He showed up in a way that I could never have predicted. To have no fear, to have boldness, to have certainty, to have confidence, to have the strength to carry, you know, the million requests that come. Uh, you know, we had so many people pouring out prayer and and and supporting us, but like you you still got to deal with life. I I work for myself. My I have three kids and we had a lot of help, but like you know, you've got all these things going on. I was up for over 24 hours and by the way ran 37 miles in the heat. Uh, you know, in between that. So there's your own recovery that you're doing. Yeah. I've just never had recovery, bro. We don't we don't do recovery here. We just do we just do be strong and courageous. Um but like I'll just tell you, man, it has been I I people won't believe this, but this has been one of the greatest joys of my life. Like when it says count it all joy when you face trials and and and of many kinds, the only way you can count it all joy is when you know who's in control. And that is what I said over and over again. I said God is in control. And that that's where my that's why my my confidence and my hope comes from. And I found this weird grace man. I felt it before but like I I my one request of God was after you know obviously I prayed for my wife but my one request in the post time has been Lord don't take this from me. I have felt such a sharpness of his of his presence in my life. Like I still read my Bible. You and I both do the same thing. The first thing I look at every day I don't look at weather or sports or anything. I always look at the Bible first. I'll read a song and scripture has just been like exploding in in this time, man. Like I it's just jumped off the page. It's been incredible. I feel like God has spoken so clearly to me. Um and I just said, "Lord, I don't I don't want this to ever go." Like to have that sensitivity.

15:57 There's like an awakening of the best part of me in this time that I've been pressed. And I've had it one other time before in in recent memory. And both times I have from a place of Lord, you know, you're in control. and whatever happens here, like I'm good with it because I trust you. I have felt this sharpness where I almost start to enjoy being in the battle because I'm like, "Oh, this is what I'm made for." I had a I had a reminder and I'm sorry I'm just talking. I feel like I'm you right now. I'm the one that's doing all the talking and just But like I had this reminder of this word that came over me in Bible college. It was spoken to me by a man named Ian Russell in in the UK, which what a great Welsh name, Ian Russell. And he's, you know, mighty man of God. And he he spoke over me in Bible college. She said, "I had a vision of you and you were a fighter pilot." And of course, I'm 21 and like, you know, I'm like, "Yeah, fighter pilot." You know, I'm like, I'm feeling all cocky and and I I remember this word. I don't know if I ever wrote it down, but I remember it here 20 plus years on. He said, I just had this vision of you as a fire fighter pilot. And I felt God say, "You're not called to maintain planes on the ground. You're called to the battle." And the Holy Spirit reminded me of this as I've gone through this because there's something that's like come alive in me more from being in this situation. I don't ever want it to leave. I I do not want to leave. Like I want God's sharpness. I want his presence always.

17:16 So, it's been deeply impactful, dude. Well, you know, there's like, you know, that that, you know, you talking about grace and gratitude and joy and all that. What's really interesting to me, I think like biblically, right, is uh there's this Greek word that the New Testament uses for grace a lot. It's this word charis and uh in the in the in the in the New Testament it's so interesting charis is also the word for gratitude and it's also the word for joy. Yes. And so um or ka ka is the the Greek word for joy. And so it's closely related to grace. But it's also like what's interesting is like when the when Paul especially talks about grace, he uses that word charis and he says grace. But then that's also the same word for gratitude. you know, but then what charis is is um the it's a you know that I think the the simplest definition is like a favor done without expectation of return.

18:17 Yeah. You know that that's what God does is like you don't you know I think I think we all you know stuff like that man like I remember when uh I think I've told this story before like on the podcast. I remember when Courtney was having Daisy who's like our third who's not like our third kid who is our third kid. She was Yeah, she is your third kid. also like our third kid in that she's also the third kid. But I remember, you know, she'd had her and they couldn't stop bleeding and it was like this whole crazy long long emergency thing. They had to take Courtney to surgery. There's blood everywhere all over this delivery room. They don't tell me anything. So, I don't know if Courtney's like, you know, made it or not. And I'm just standing there with Daisy right after she's born. They'd left me with her and she wasn't like um she wasn't cleaned off or anything. I mean, she's brand new. And uh so anyway, like I always the place I always go in my mind with stuff like that is okay, there's a whole bunch of stuff right now that's happening that I can't control, but what but what can I control? And um you know the ant the antidote for uh the antidote for anxiety is gratitude.

19:23 Yeah. And um you know I think stuff like that it's not it's we should be this way always in our life you know but when you navigate things like that you and God does there's so many people God doesn't do it for you know and um that's a reality it's like a reality of life but when God does do things for you like that you also become aware of all the all the daily all the daily miracles that constitute your life. Yeah. you know, so you realize, man, like God's God has his hand on, you know, it's not there. I I'm I'm a I I think I'm a contributor to my story, you know, but God's the one that's writing my story, and you know, I have a role to play. Yeah. In that, you know, but you sit there and with God, it's like you can't explain that other than, well, God just told me that wasn't the end of the story, you know?

20:14 You know what? You know where it's the best verse, and this is what I mean, like scripture exploded for me. Psalms 139 which we all know to be the Davidic psalm about like how God's you know shaped you and formed you. He knew you in the womb. And you know, it says, "Where can I go from your presence? Where can I flee from your spirit?" And when you understand that that you God's hand is on your life, not because of anything you did, not because you know, you heard a cool message and then you decided aka you're the initiator, right? And because you did, but when you have a true understanding of what what grace is and what it means that God is the author and perfector of your faith, meaning he's the one who wrote your story and he has your hand on him. And this is where like Calvinists are going crazy because they're like, "Wait a minute." But like when you understand that God has put his hand on you and chose you, it really does feel like that. It's like, "Lord, you you have moved when I did not deserve it. And so what could I do to go away from you because you've chosen me and when you've been chosen and you're in his hand, it he does not let go and he does not lose you." And I read that script. I read Psalms 139 during this this period. And man, it was just like I felt like it meant more to me in that time to understand, you know, I just think about my whole story of, you know, a flood in my house in San Diego when I'm not seeking God, when I'm not in a great place in my marriage, when I'm just not a great place, period, as a man. I I'm kind of a turd. I'm I'm doing some things to make myself better and grow, but like I've just got a lot of selfishness and just not great stuff.

21:41 And God says, "Okay, now it's time to move you." gets us out to Texas, puts us in this church, literally interrupts my life, like yells in my ear where I I stop everything I'm doing and I'm like, "Oh, I just heard some other voice that I don't recognize." And I'm like, and then he puts me, you know, in with your with your best friend and doing what we're doing. And then I look at and in the church with you and all the things and all the people he's brought in and I just go, man, like you picked me and put your hand on me. I can't feel arrogant or cocky or proud of anything because I know where I was going. I know the direction I was heading down. And you literally just grabbed me and said, "Nope, you're back over here." Yeah. And so I I look at that and I look I read Psalms 139. I'm like, "God, you have your hand on my life." And then I look at this moment. Like I said, that's a training moment. And I go, "Okay, I don't know what you have ahead of me, Lord. I read about Caleb this morning being 40 years old whenever he went in and because of his heart, he gave the report that he did." And then he had to wait, you know, 45 years later, they've conquered and he's sitting there going like, I'm gonna go up and take on the Giants, right? Like, give me this land.

22:42 I'll go up and take on the Giants, too. And I love that. And I just sit there and I go, God's not dumb. Like, Josh, you and I are so like God's God's not like, hey, if they haven't hit their stride by, you know, 48, they're no good to me. Like, we're not in the American workforce. Not Not that you're no good if you're over 48. I'm just pick some arbitrary number. But, you know what I mean? Like, the American You can feel that way. Like, you know, I think you have you have so much optimism like in your in your 20s because you feel like your life's ahead of you. You know, you start getting you start getting older and then you start to think, am I realizing my potential? Is this just going to be what my life is? What you know, whatever age that happens. I mean, it happens for sure. But that's not how it works in the kingdom of God. Like the only time retirement is mentioned is with the the Levites. I think when they're 50 years old, they they're required to retire, right? Yeah. But like their sense of retirement was to help the other people. It wasn't like they just went off to pasture and like played ping pong, right? Like they still had stuff to do. They just weren't able to serve in the temple. That's the only mention of retirement in the Bible.

23:39 So it's not a godly princ. It's not a godly concept to retire. And you look at the people he he used. I love that it says like Moses Moses was had he was fleet of foot and strong and and like there had been no decline. Same thing with Caleb. And I'm like, "Dude, let's go." So I sit there and I go, "Lord, I have no idea what you have ahead of me. I believe I got 50, 60 plus years left in this body. And I go, man, like if I can see this as a training exercise and to understand like what it is to have absolutely no fear. And I just like and to have it so clear. We, and I'm putting myself in this, our favorite drugs of choice to keep us from growth, to keep us from all God has are distraction and fear. We sit there, we talked about comfort's a core value of America, and we value the wrong things. But man, when you give up those things of of distraction and fear and you understand the greatness that to that which God's called you to, dude, what is impossible? Like absolutely nothing, man. Like I I just I just look at it and I'm like, man, like let's go. You know what I mean? Like it's just been such a um a spur for me, you know, in life and I'm like, I have no idea what's coming next.

24:44 It's like, you know, and I think that I think all of us, man, are better served when we realize how much of our life is really, you know, the thing about grace, right, theologically is God gives this gift. You don't earn it, right? You don't work for it. There's nothing you can do to earn God's grace. And he freely gives it. So, it's not like it's it's as much as you want God's grace. Yeah. You know, and the way my dad's always defined it, which is also a biblical definition, is the power of God to do things God's way. Yes. So, God gives you this power and grace is empowering, but God gives us all these gifts and like our life is a really a a gift of God's grace. And then there's this those of us who have a revelation of it, right? There's there's only really one response that is the appropriate response to God's grace and that's faith. Yeah. Yeah. And and what faith is is faith is just faith is uh the the the Greek word is u pistis and it means uh just just uh uh firm persuasion. So it means like I'm just convinced. I' I've really I have really deep conviction and I live that way and the and the way we the way we develop faith in our It's so interesting to me man even what you're saying because the way we develop like a deeper sense of faith in our life is by becoming more and more aware of God's grace that the only reason right it's like you're talking about the boldness thing it's like the only thing that empowers me to step fully into whatever my expression of boldness should be and is is this understanding that this is none of this is like all of this is just a gift from God anyway like this life that I live the you know even even the hard times even in the difficult times like God didn't never promise that we wouldn't have troubles and you know he just promised that uh you know it's like the no weapon formed against you will prosper it doesn't mean that doesn't mean there's not going to be weapons and that doesn't mean there's not going to be stuff that happens and and faith faith is our response but then you know the this this idea that grace so to recognize God's grace it's like you have to learn to be grateful for it right but then also this faith faith is rooted in these these words car and charis go together like faith is rooted in this joy that the joy is you know joy is different than happiness in that happiness is a a byproduct happiness is a feeling but joy is joy is Uh, joy is a knowing like like joy is knowing that like that's what you're saying that I think people could misunderstand, right? is the joy that I have is knowing that God's gonna get the glory for this and that the story is gonna work out like and and even if even if this outcome that I prefer doesn't happen the joy is okay God I can't wait to see the good thing you do because this thing is not very good but you're a graceful God and you're a loving God and so I'm gonna be a person that's that's Job's story I mean most of us have not gone through that level of pain and and suffering, right, that Job went through.

27:59 But what it what it shows us in Job's story is Job had so much confidence and and really joy. And like that biblical definition of joy is to me, the biblical definition of joy is what you're feeling and experiencing and leading your family in, not hey guys, everything's great. like we're let's you know, okay, mom's in the hospital. We're going to ignore that and we're going to have a game night tonight and we're going to eat a bunch of candy and ice cream and I'm just going to try my best to make you guys happy. It's like no, that what what you're what you're saying that you're working in your kids and and trying to generate in your kids is this idea, hey, we're going to navigate this on the other end of this. There's going to be a really good story and God's going to do some amazing stuff and that's what we're going to take our hope from and that's what our confidence is going to be in. Yeah. What what would have been harder had it gone the other way would been to to help my kids through that. I I can tell you that because it worked out the way that you would want it, it was a lot cleaner for them. Um but for me, like I've thought about this before, like Psalms 103, I I don't forget which verse, but it says, "He forgives all my sins. He heals all my diseases." And I love Psalms 103. I I've quoted it in the ice bath to myself many times. I I could go through it, but I don't think that'd benefit anybody.

29:14 Um, but it's just David blessing the Lord, right? And he he's he's talking about all the ways that God's good to him. So, how can God forgive all our sins? That one we don't have any trouble grasping, but heal all our diseases. Dude, I know people who have died from cancer. I've talked about on this podcast. Uh, wife's uncle who's who was a man of God his whole life just died from a stroke. That doesn't make any sense. That the Bible's wrong. That's if you're looking at it in this life. When you have a true eternal perspective and you zoom out, guys, we've already won. This life is like such a small part of it, but it's the only part we know. The the majority of the story, like the vast majority of the story is is eternity. It's so much further beyond us. And I I think I heard Josh Josh How or somebody say like there's only three ways you get healed. You either get healed by God doing a miracle, um you know, modern medicine, or in eternity. And I was like, you know what? I I get that. And so I I sit there and I go like that's why, you know, if it hadn't gone the way we wanted, man, like that's a whole another kettle of fish that I I would have worked through. But once again, God's grace goes before me. Like it does that that does not sound scary to me. As much as that would have been a lot harder road. And so I look at that and I just go, man, when you when you really like you talked about, you have grace.

30:30 And interesting enough, you know, the only thing that helped me, Josh, when I was, for those that don't know, on this podcast, I was six years uh alcohol dependent, very depressed. Very depressed. I say very because I think a lot of people call depression what I would call, you know, a tough a tough couple months or a tough struggle. Yeah. I'm talking like you wake up and every day is Groundhog Day. You're excited for nothing. You're completely emotionally numb. The reason I drank was because that was the only time I felt anything. And I remember just being really happy that I could still feel something. like I was that that it was just it was uh you know it was just a very dark place to be in and you know when I was get climbing myself out of that I Tony Robbins was really big for me and gratitude and priming is one of the things that he taught and I look back on it now and I'm like enter his course with thanksgiving enter his house with praise I was ushering in like you can do all the neuros study neuroscience studies talk to all the psychologists they will tell you that gratitude has huge impacts on the brain and that's them to me uncover covering what the presence of God actually does for us, which is it just it ushers in a a his an awareness of God, whether you realize it's God or not. And it floods your your nervous system with all these uh great chemicals. I mean, Dr. Robbie has told me and he's talked about how it's like a reset for your brain. The same way if your phone's not working, you turn the phone off and turn it back on and it works again. That's what gratitude does for you. And like is there not any better impact on the presence of God to come in and just put us to operate rightly? It's a it's a it is the perfect picture. And so I got into gratitude before I really found, you know, before God put his hand on my life again. And I don't think it's a coincidence what you just said because that is exactly it.

32:08 It's like I've just look at this whole thing. I'm like, dude, we had an incredible outpouring of people. Thank God we live near a hospital. Thank God all the people that interjected in this story because I didn't want to tell every single detail cuz I didn't think you'd want to take that long. But there was multiple times where other people were like, "Hey, man." Like, you know, the IV getting to my house, which then just happened to have a registered nurse, so she knew, "Hey, you really should go to the ER." Was all because one of my best friends was there helping crew the race like could tell that she was bad and was like, "Dude, I called everywhere." Like, he's calling everywhere to get an IV for us because a I wouldn't have been able to do it and b he knows that she needs it. And that ends up being like part of what saved her life. And so I just I just sit there and I'm like, man, like I'm grateful for that stuff. I'm not I'm not, you know, just kind of like, oh, that was a close call. It's like I see how God's hand was in all that. And and it's just, you know, it's been honestly an amazing experience, man. Like I said, I'm actually grateful for the experience.

33:04 Don't know if we'll be hitting the 50 mileer again. Uh but, you know, like I I want to, if I'm being honest, uh we got I'm the same way, man. If it's, you know, it's like we got to go back now. We got to do it. We gota, you know, we got to conquer the mountain now that the mountain beat us. It's like exactly right. Uh there's that story about George Mallory who climbed Mount Everest. He got he got beat, you know, two or three times and he he there's a you know, there was a meeting with a bunch of people that were like funding the expedition and there's this big picture of Mount Everest behind him and he said, "You've you know, Mount Everest, you've beat us. You've beat us twice. You beat us three times, but you can't get any bigger and we can just like so tough, right? Um yeah, man. I you know the the interesting thing to me about fear, right, is fear is a completely future focused emotion that has an it's an expectation something bad's going to happen.

34:01 Yeah. you know, like and and I mean, I sit here saying this as a person who's also a human that's a part of the human race that has to navigate this. So, I don't think anyone ever fully conquers this dynamic, but there's there's fear for all of us. There's not just fear, you know, there's not just fear when bad stuff happens. There's fear that bad stuff in general is going to happen. And and I think a lot of that fear, at least for me personally, comes from the idea that I don't think I could handle like I don't think I could handle a worst case scenario. Yeah. Right. Like I don't I don't I don't really believe and and that's where so much so much of people's fear comes from. Yes. is they don't really believe they they well they believe that something could happen in their life that would prove to them that God really doesn't have a good plan and it's actually just all supposed to be awful and right like how dare you enjoy your life or how dare you think it's going to be good and I and I say that as a person who generally like I have this thing in the back of my head almost all day every day for as long as I can remember and that's like I'm just waiting for the other shoe to drop you know So I I have a I have a uh you know probably some kind of pathological issue that um getting deep here.

35:16 No, that says that you know it's good right now but just wait till tomorrow when everything falls apart and it all blows up and everybody dies and it's all awful. Like that's that's kind of a general um default setting for me, right? That I that I have to navigate. And I've, you know, I've gone through difficult times and like I talked about with Courtney or different things or, you know, it's one of the fears that I have having having having more kids is like, oh, you know, having five kids. We're getting ready to have our fifth kid in a couple well, fourth and fifth kid in a couple months. And one of the things I think about having more kids is there's more chances for something really bad to happen to one of my kids. Huh. You know, and so I I didn't like go develop that thought process somewhere. That's just really always been in me. And so the reason why I say that is because I've grown uh I've grown well acquainted with that like feeling. But there's this there's this thing for me that u matters more than all that because I'll still feel that a lot of different times. But what what matters more for me is I go well what am I going to go do you know um what's my response to this going to be like even if you know even if worst case scenarios happen or even even if I navigate like a a nightmare scenario um that's a test right it's a test to believe that God's still a good God and God still has a plan um but it's also uh it's also So, I I wouldn't say it's never as bad as we think it's going to be, but but I would say that there are so many This is where I kind of land, right? There's so many things that we can't control in life. We don't know.

37:01 We're not guaranteed another day. I mean, we've heard this, you know, you hear this from everybody, right? It's written in the Bible. Your life's a vapor. You know, there tomorrow's not promised. Just worry about today. But a lot of what I end up doing is I I spend today worrying about tomorrow. Yeah. What a waste, you know. And I and I believe sometimes I believe that can prepare me like that prepares me for the bad thing to happen. And really like may maybe it does. I mean Stoic philosophy talks a lot about catastrophizing and you should always imagine the worst case scenario and imagine yourself handling it. Um but that's all without factoring God in. Exactly. You know, and I think and I think for all of us, we we imagine situations like that or we experience them and we're like, man, you know, when you're in the situation, you're not wondering whether or not you can hand I well, I'd say it this way. When you're in the situation and you have responsibilities, there's a lot of people who end up in the in a situation like that and they don't have any responsibilities, so they just freak out. But when you when you're in the situation and you know you're responsible for stuff, I think that changes your response because you can't just right like in the deal with Rian like you can't just go home and go have despair cuz you've got three kids that you have to talk to.

38:18 Well, I also have a very strong belief that men are made to be strong and that I'm made to lead my family because I believe the word of God. And that was something that was very that that like I really have spent time wrestling with what I really believe. Because if you're made to be strong, you're made to protect, and you're made to provide, which is what I believe God says about men, then how could I possibly complain about it? Because I'm like, this is the very thing I'm made for. If I sit there and complain about weight or complain I'm tired or complain, and when I say weight, like weight I have to carry in this case, you know, the whole of the family and everything else. If I complain about that, like what? What? I'm complaining about why God made me. Hey God, you know, like I really don't want to do this thing you made me for. No, you made me to be strong. This is actually what I'm here for. So, like before we even when we were when I was driving her, you know, as she was first going down, before we'd even left the tent and I knew how bad it was, I always knew how I was going to show up. I'd already decided. I was like, "This is what I'm made for this." And that like that belief when you're in there will carry it so much differently because what you just said was the exact voice of fear. What if something worse happens to your kids? What if these and and that's why I love running and that's why you need to come to an ultramarathon with us Josh because No, because I'm being serious, man. I'm being so serious about this, dude. This is I've done like four half marathons. So that you combine them together all in the same day, you'll be with us.

39:36 But like but I'm being I'm being serious about this. This is what happens all the time. Like I went for a training run and I think I was running 12 miles. This was earlier on in the training and I got to about mile or no I was doing 14 miles that day. I got to mile nine and I felt awful. I felt like I was going to faint. And so like what you the logical thought process is like if I feel like this now, I'm going to feel even worse in another mile. I should just stop. And this is what people do all the time. They quit based on where they're where they feel. But here's what you know after you've done running for a little while and you've done enough of these. You go, okay, what am I missing? In this case, my blood sugars were low, so I popped some some maple syrup. Boom. You know, and I I waited for it to kick in. I just kept running. It was a hot day here in Texas when I was training that day as well. And by the time I got to like mile 11 or or whatever it was, I felt great again. And that that came with experience because the way you feel now is not like the problem always changes, right? Like the scenario changes. It's not straight line. Like you don't just kind of go like, well, if it's this bad now, it's just going to keep getting worse. That's not how things work.

40:35 Like you you you get better at working the problem. You get better at just kind of going, okay, how do I impact the situation that I'm in right now? And that's what I think running gives you in a condensed version. Like that will happen over life. The problem is is it happens over months and years. So you usually aren't very good at connecting A and B. Whereas if I can learn in running, oh, I'm not feeling great. It must be because blood sugars are low. That's that's what A is. So B means I'm going to take whatever nutrition I need. And then you feel better. It you start to gather that thought process of like, okay, work the problem. When my wife was throwing up, it's like, I need to get her out of here sooner. I'm going to borrow someone's car. Okay, we got to get her home. When I bring her home and, you know, we have the IV there. Okay, that's not taking great. Check. next thing and it's just like what's next? Just work the problem and and and do the next right thing. That that's really what it is. And but and that and that to me is like and that's where I'm saying even my own kind of personal experience with Courtney and everything. It's like what what am I responsible for right now?

41:34 Like what can I control? Okay. Well, so where I landed was okay, Daisy needs to get cleaned off. There's no nurses anywhere. So I got to I got to feed her too cuz it's been a couple hours and just baby's brand new. So I end up going and finding that and all that stuff and uh cuz fe because the fear thing too man is based in what you you know it's always based in what you can't control like because you couldn't you couldn't you couldn't guarantee anything you know with and then you have doctors come in and adding to that you couldn't guarantee any kind of any kind of outcome and so we all think really as humans we think well I couldn't handle that outcome so we we we imagine an outcome like we imagine a horrible outcome Then we think to ourselves, I couldn't handle it. Then we freak ourselves out by thinking that the worst possible outcome is also the most likely outcome, which is really never true, right? Um, it's not even true statistically. It's like it's definitely not true with God, but it's not true statistically because what is it? You know, the question too that I have like philosophically and stuff like this is what does it even mean for what is the outcome, right? Because if you have a if you have a perspective and the outcome oftentimes we define the outcome based on the time orientation, right?

42:49 We think and you get fired from your job and you think this is the end of my life, you know, well, if you think about what your life looks like two years from now, you're getting fired from your job is not the end of your life. Like it's you're going to go find another job, whatever, blah blah blah. You think about all these situations and you go, "Well, this is this is the worst thing that could ever happen. Life just goes down from here." when actually if you have a God consciousness and if you understand your life's a gift of grace and you believe that eternity is the goal anyway right to me like I I saw this recently I know a lot of people have probably seen this but the the probability of like you existing the probability of me existing is 1 in 10 to the 2 million I'm gonna look it up right look at it right here 1 in 10 to the 2,685,000th power. So, it's a lot of zeros. Goten 10 followed by 2.685 million zeros, right?

43:47 Oh my gosh. That's how many That's how many It's not even It's statistically impossible that Nick surface would exist. It's statistically impossible that I would exist. Now, the guarantee though, right, is you have a one inone chance of dying and so do I. We're all going to die, right? Yeah. Speak for yourself. the the question well h human humanly speaking we're going to die the question that we have to answer and this is like death is for off you know one of the things I've always thought logically I'm I'm really concerned about other people in my life dying I'm not concerned about me dying right so for a lot of people their fear is their own death why would it matter you're dead you don't care right why would you be afraid of your own death is you you should be sad that you would die and leave all your all your your family should be afraid of your death. Not you anyway. It's the unknown. Yeah. But it's the unknown. True. It is.

44:38 And but the unknown really, like if you think about it to me, from God's perspective, the unknown that we have is how well we're going to live our life right now. Like with the moment that I'm in right now, what am I going to do with right now? And today, today might be a day where the uncontrollables are swinging my way or it might be a day where I'm where they're not swinging my way. this the question is still the same and that's what am I gonna do right now you know and am I gonna act in and that's I think man what's so powerful about hearing your story about this week is are we going to act in not not even if you don't because faith faith to me and joy aren't about how you feel because if no at least for me personally because if I based anything in my life on how I feel like my feelings have lied to me a lot and I still have this conversation in the back of my head that I'm always navigating So I go, well, what matters is what I go do now. What matters is is what I do right now and the way that I operate because I'm it's all going to end someday, right? That's the guarantee.

45:44 But what's not the guarantee is how well today goes, right? Like there's Yeah, go ahead. No, I was going to say I think what's um you talked about faith as being certainty earlier whenever you were giving you were going through some of the Greek words. And by the way, I love that you know all that stuff off the top of your head. It's one of that's like when I feel like I'm getting the best like Josh Craft like premium edition is when you're I could be wrong if I'm wrong just y'all just let us know and we'll come back and correct it. Yeah. Um I somehow I feel like people would let us know even if we didn't ask them to. John very good at like being like you even when we're right they let us know we're wrong. There you go. Praise the Lord. Um, but man, uh, I I like when you read Hebrews 11, man, and the heroes of faith because this is something that I felt I've I've I I went on this I feel like God put me on this certainty journey. And actually, I think we talked about it in the early stages of the podcast where I just really wanted to know like what am I certain about? And man, faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen is such a confounding scripture to describe faith.

46:47 But you talked about faith and you said that it's like what you're really certain about and and one of the best things I've done, what I would advise everybody to do is to truly seek to know God with all your heart. And I spend time praising him in p like praising him and just entering into the presence of God, reading his word, like just worshiping him and and like getting into the tangible presence of God because I think the only way that you have faith, you know, you gave the perfect voice of fear when you talked about some of those things because ultimately like you said, what if I what if I didn't know what to do, right? And that that is where you will feel the biggest fears from inadequacy, right? Is like, oh, I wouldn't know. And you know what? That's by design. The only way to be strong and courageous. The only way to remove fear is to have your trust in the right place. And the only reason why you would have your trust in the right place is if you actually know God. So how are you going to do that if you just, you know, take a scripture here and there or I read I read a proverb of the day. That's a great place to start is to have a pro of the day. But when you actually hunger and thirst to know God and you press into to his presence, that's what we're designed for. We are literally made to to to worship and to glorify and honor God. And when you honor God, it means you care what he cares about and you value what he values. And when you do that, whatever you honor, you get more of. It's a principle. Your dad's taught me more about honor than anybody in my life. And then his best friend, Scott, Uncle Boach, you know, through that that line, I've learned more about honor. It is a principle. Meaning whether you like it or not, it's true. You honor val you honor, you honor money, you will get more money, but you'll also get everything that comes along with money, which is insecurity, which is all the sinfulness that comes from putting your trust in the wrong place. You know, whatever you honor, you will get more of. And when you honor God and you get more of God, you get all these things added as well. And that's where you can truly live prosperously and you can truly live with no fear because you're now in a place where you're like, I know God. I know that he is and he is a rewarder of those who diligently seek him. And when you to have that sort of certainty in who God is, that is the way that you live with no fear. That is the way that you live with gratitude and you live by grace. And man, I'm just excited, man, because I feel like I'm I'm early on in my journey, bro. I feel like I've got I have no idea what's in store for me, but like this has just been such a breakthrough in in the greatest thing. And I I just like I don't know if your dad will ever listen to this, man. I love your dad so much. I honor him. I appreciate him. The the the breakthrough comes when you do what you needs to be done regardless of the circumstance, regardless of the outcome. And he says it all the time. He talks about how that's perseverance is doing courageously doing what you know needs to be done regardless of the outcome. The the things that you hate in your life, the stuff you wish would go away, the stuff that irritates you, the stuff that really like uh man, I just wish I didn't have to deal with this.

49:29 That is your opportunity that if you can choose to do it God's way in those things, it is like your your trampoline to your next level. And and that's what I that's what I found over and over again. Your dad's the one who demonstrated that for I remember a message he did years ago where he defined he gave us the word grit and he talked about I stood for indomitable spirit and he talked about how grit was what like helps you to overcome and I feel like that has just been a revelational message to me years on now to to when you see the things in your life as opportunities when you see the challenges the negativity the problems as opportunities to grow into your next man like he says when you grow through what you go through you create a breakthrough and we hear that and because it rhymes it sounds really sweet like, "Oh, I love that. Yeah, PK, that's so good." When you actually experience that and the truth of those words, dude. Like, bring it on, man. Because now, like you say it all the time, God's more interested in who you're becoming than than than what you're doing. Yes.

50:25 Don't like what I decided in the from a very early on was I decide how I was going to go through it. I couldn't decide what was going to go on because I was very powerless. But what I could decide was who I how I was going to be, who I was going to be in the whole thing. And then when I heard God tell me it's not her time, I was like, "Okay, check." And I was just like so firm on that. And so like I'm just sitting here and I'm like, man, I I it's like so much of what we talk about has become experientially true to me. Uh I think the word is rhema. And it to have like a true revelation of it. It has just been incredible, man. Yeah. Well, the you know, and I think this all of this uh the foundation of all this for both, it's this is a different level of positivity, right? This isn't the kind of positivity you read about in a self-help book, but it's like this to people I work with. You know how like I I this has been a massive testimony to God's good. I've been telling people about the grace of God and about like how I've had no fear, dude. And I I actually wrote down because I've been taking notes. I've been wanting to be very sharp and I apologize for interrupting you. I felt like the Holy Spirit said to explain what you're going through to people who have have had their senses doled. This is going to make no sense to them. And I've told them anyways because I want to sew the seed. But it's you can't explain this. Well, the well the the foundation right of this for for both of us and for for people that share this perspective is the belief and the belief in a God who has a great plan for your life 100% like people who you know the Bible says uh basically the paraphrase the Bible says when bad things happen don't live like those who have no hope and and even Christians even Christians right when tough stuff happens S it shows you how little trust we have in God, right?

52:08 And and how and really how how how small a revelation of grace that we have. Because if we had a full revelation really of God's grace that God gives us power to live a great life, God does favors for us without the expectation that we would ever do anything for for him. Then our response, we would never really struggle with faith because our response would always be, man, God is so great. So in the in the worst times in our life, we would sit there and go, you know, I know this is a really bad time in my life, but God's God's tell So the the the difference that you and me have is um we go, "Well, yeah, this sucks, but right, the the butt is but God God's God." like God sits on the throne, God has a plan, and that equips us to live life with a lot more faith and hope because of this core belief that God's telling a great story, right? It's like this is so in one of my favorite stories in the Bible, I want to do like a there's not enough there probably to write a book, but I want to write a lot about it. And that's I think you could do it.

53:18 1st Samuel 14. Like so many people want so much certainty, right? It's what you're talking about. Yeah. 1st Samuel 14. And there's all these reference references to this level, this kind of thinking all throughout scripture, but we don't we don't really see it because we're always looking for certainty. No one has certainty. Like you don't have certainty for what I have a certainty of is God's grace. What I don't have certainty of that makes me afraid is uh does that mean everything's going to go good all the time? Right. I know according to your definition, right? Exactly. Like I know God has a good plan for my life, but the challenge comes when I go I need God to also include this in a good like so I'm with Exactly. Right. Right. So like you're with Rian. So it's like in your mind God having a good plan for your life mean nothing bad ever happens to Rian.

54:10 Yeah. Or my kids. Yeah. as long as we're okay, we're good. Right. Right. And and the trust and the faith in God is a relinquishing of trying to control outcomes, right? It's like it and it's and it's choosing to give your best anyway. So like there's this quote from uh Steve Prefontaine. He's like a famous runner. Oh, love it. Right. It's a quote about excellence, but to me it's not about excellence. He says to give anything less than your best is to sacrifice the gift. Right. Yes. And the way I see that in the context of this conversation is to give anything less than your best to every situation that you're in is to sacrifice the gift of God's grace in your life. So, so, so to me, this this passage, this story in the Bible, Jonathan, they look at him and his armor bearer, his buddy, they look at this whole battle scene, right? And he goes, "Hey, what we should do," Jonathan just has this idea.

55:04 He's like, "Hey, what we should do is we should climb. We should climb up there and we should go fight them, just you and me." And there's like a thousand men at this camp, right? And he goes, "Perhaps the Lord will be with us." Yes. Right. And this armor bearer says, "Hey, okay, great. Do whatever's in your heart. I'm with you heart and soul." Is what he says to him. And you think about the faith that that takes to go into like a battle and you don't even have certainty that God's with you. Like in your mind, you're just like, "Hey, maybe God will be here. Maybe maybe God will meet us there." But that's taking a faith move. Like like with Jonathan, what I think Jonathan knew is that, hey, we're God's we're God's people. We're doing things God's way. We're out here fighting a fighting a battle that's not really our battle. It's ultimately God's battle. And so I feel like if we step into the fray and we give it what we have to give it, God will meet us there.

56:00 Yeah. But really the truth is God God kind of will meet you wherever you allow him to meet you. But the faith move is being willing to live a life that says I'm going to I'm going to I'm going to live a perhaps the Lord mental. I'm going to live with a perhaps the Lord mentality. Like that's to me like ultimate faith is saying we don't know like we don't know what the outcome's going to be. We don't know what's going to happen but maybe God will show up in it. Yeah. And we're gonna act as if that's going to happen and freak everybody out. And you know what? If it doesn't happen right now, maybe it'll happen the next time. And maybe it'll happen the next time because this this faith like faith is living with a my dad calls it uh faith is divine risk, right? But faith is living knowing that I don't currently have the power, but God's going to God's going to give me the power when I need the power if I just can step in and give whatever. So to go back to the quote to do anything less than your best is to sacrifice the gift. All God's asking me to do in whatever situation I'm in, right? At least I feel this way. I see this to be true. is that God's just asking me to give right now my best and let him worry about the outcome.

57:19 Yeah. Right. That's exactly right. And we're going to serve this moment. We're going to be responsible for what we're responsible for, but God's the one that's responsible for the outcome. And eventually, he's going to get us to exactly where we need to be. And that's the right response to grace. Paul says, "His grace to me was not without vain. I worked harder than all the other apostles." It's like, and people are like, "Well, that sounds like you're trying to earn it." Because so much of what I've grown up with, Josh, in in the, you know, I grew up in the faith movement and the rhema and like that was literally like my my roots of my childhood was like, "Name it and claim it." Like literally, that was I heard that saying so many times in my household. And so faith becomes this thing that if you can just strain it enough, like you can pretty much do anything. And so like if it doesn't happen, it's because you didn't have enough faith. And that that so you become really guilty about this thing. So for most of us it's like faith is this like psychological concept that oh you didn't hit the faith meter high enough for that miracle you you know so that's actually on you and you sit there you're like oh man but when you actually understand where does faith what is faith it's a gift of God which means that God's the one who gives it to you we ask for things all the time in the name of Jesus and then we're wondering why it doesn't work because we don't understand what the name of Jesus means.

58:28 It's the character the essence and the authority of the person. It's the identity. Sorry, it's the identity, character, and authority. That's the Hebrew. If you go into and you look at the the lexicon and you dive into it, that's what it actually means. What that means is that it's directly in line with who that person is. And when you actually have the the gift of when when God's given you faith and it's it's his gift, dude, you'll move with a certainty be from a place of knowing him and from being in step with him. That's why that's why Jesus said like I feel like the whole puzzle came together for me. It's why he said, "Apart from me, you can do nothing. Abide in me." Because when you're actually abiding in him, you can do all things. Nothing's impossible without God. Like when you're flowing in the spirit, what why what can't you do? You don't have to like strain it out. You know when God's directing you someplace, and you also know when you're not. And and that's why my prayer in this whole thing has been like, God, please never take like I don't ever want to lose this connection I have with you. That's that's been the greatest joy of all this. And and I think that that's whenever you like you go from stopping trying to like, oh, I'm going to strain it out to be like, man, I'm just flowing from a place of knowing God and abiding in him. that like that's when you can have certainty and you can step up and say I mean the story you tell I love that story you and Garrett love that story and you guys have gotten me in love with it like sometimes I'll just text him perhaps the Lord right when we're thinking about doing something because it's like what they say is hey they go hey if they challenge us to come up there and fight him then we'll go up there and perhaps the Lord will meet us because this is in a time when they've got the um and the thurum I think it is you probably know thumin or yeah where they're used to casting lots which sounds like such a weird thing for us now that's like go roll some dice and god's going to speak to you that way it's like the magic eightball of God, but this is how he told them to approach them. So, they were used to doing this with the priest. And so, like to have that mentality of like, hey, if this happens, perhaps the Lord like dude, that sort of certainty is not self-generated. That sort of boldness is not self-generated. That's the man who's rolling with God. That's how I want to roll the rest of my life, man.

1:00:16 Man, and I think Yeah. I think Yeah. What's so crazy what's the craziest part of that story to me is it's two of them and like a thousand. And of so of course so so you know Jonathan he sets the terms. He goes yeah and if they challenge us to fight then we'll know. Yeah. Like then like who's not going to look at those odds and be like oh look at these two hot shots. Come up here and die. Yeah. Well we're not going to challenge and fight. No we Yeah. We'll kill you guys real quick. It's like it's like then we'll know we should step into it because maybe God will be with us. But that's but to me like so few of us really live our lives that way. Like I really have struggled in my life to really live as if like one of the one of the uh one of the versions of Hebrews 11 says faith is the faith is the confidence that what we hope for is actually going to happen.

1:01:11 Yeah. So so then you know it gives us assurance about things we can't see. So faith is the faith is to me to act as if something I don't see happening that's a great thing is going to happen and to live my whole life that way even if it doesn't happen. Yeah. Cuz like you always get the opportunity to me in every situation you get the opportunity to respond with fear or faith and they're both they're they're both based in expectations. So fear is just a negative expectation of the future. Very good. Faith is just a positive expectation of the future, right? And so even if and I think you know everyone be encouraged by this like Nick Nick in your mind like even if something horrible happened to Rian if Rian passed away and we're having a different conversation you you would probably still be like yeah but something good's still going to come out of all this dude because it's not about just if it's just about this life like you said we're to be pied abunks above all people eat drink and be merry for tomorrow we die but it's not and this is the This is what I love about doing this with you and why I appreciate you as a friend. Like, we have to deeply consider these things.

1:02:28 Like I said, the two vices that will absolutely crush your destiny and keep you from accomplishing what God's put you on the earth are fear and distraction. And and most of us are addicted to both of them. We got things in our in our pocket that will distract us all day if we allow. And we'll distract ourselves literally to death. And and while doing so, we'll be very afraid because man, think of I just watched a bunch of reels about what could happen to me and I read a bunch of news articles about what's happening and man and we create this whole bad things this bad thing's happening in my life or this bad thing happened in my past, whatever. Yeah. But when you actually have like have when you've wrestled and you've taken the time to consider these things and and like I said, it's always from a place of seeking God first. It's not just that you sit around and become a great philosopher and think about stuff and become really smart because wouldn't that be great if that was the answer? Um, that's not the answer. It's when you get to know a living God and you know his nature and you know his character. God is so good. Man, one of the things I've said to people over and over throughout this thing is God's better than you can imagine. He's more loving than you could hope for and his ways are better. I I use those that term very clearly because when God stepped into my life, the words I heard were my ways are better. and what actually took place because God doesn't transact with words the way that we do where I can speak whatever hundred words a minute or whatever I speak he can put 10,000 into one and when I heard the words I heard were my ways are better but what he communicated spirit to spirit was like everything clicked into place at that moment and I was like okay like I just had a divine encounter and I just and that is that is really it is that if we can connect and align ourselves with God and know him we are are called to live a life that is so much greater than what I think we can, you know, ask, think, or imagine as it says in scripture. And it's like, man, fear and distraction are just like the chains that will bind us if we allow them. And so, it's like we have this opportunity, man, to to just to hope, to dream, to see that there's something more, and to lift our eyes up, man, to the hills. Where does our help come from? From the Lord, the maker of heaven and earth, and to consider these truths, man, to deeply consider these things, and to just run and to run our race, man. we're called to run this year. You know, we wore Elevate Life shirts when we ran this race. I bought some of the run shirts for us to all run in. Um because that's our word for the year. And like your dad speaks to these things prophetically and I I just I I feel that and it's like to have that reality, man. It is life becomes incredible.

1:04:51 And and guess what I did all day today, Josh? To celebrate my wife being out of the hospital. I worked all day for all my clients, took care of my kids, like had a dentist appointment, all the normal stuff. But you know what, man? Everything matters. Everything has purpose when you're going around because we're called to be the people in the earth. To to finish, just to put aside caveat, the the staff and the people that we interacted with that were giving us the reality news were were like so encouraged by us and they let us know. Like we had members of staff like the guy was like, I admire your faith. And so I was talking to him about God. our our nurse who uh who was so amazing, who's a follower of Jesus, was talking about how her husband's not really leading the family and how his faith is iffy, you know, so he got, you know, podcast recommendations from my wife. She's praying for him and she's like, you know, we're blessing her and I just sit there and I go like, man, that's the opportunity we have as the people of God. Like what I've seen your dad do more than anybody is to say, "What's God doing? Okay, that's how I'm going to roll here." And I know you do that with the way that you're generous and like you generosity is one of your core values. Just I look at that and I'm like, man, so much of us think our purpose is going to be on the mountain top when we, you know, fight this great battle. And it's like your purpose starts right now, man.

1:05:59 It it's being the the the to bring God that he would be known in the earth in the way that you do everything. And I just I just look at it and I'm like, man, this life is exciting. There's so much to it, man. I feel like I'm just probably getting carried away. I'll I'll I'll I'll rain myself in because I I I feel like we could this could be the longest podcast ever that we do. But like it's just dude like life life really is a a gift. It really is full of the grace of God. It's lived by grace. It's lived in line with his design knowing that every single one of our days has been written for us as it says in Psalms 139. And we get the joy of discovering that. And if you know that God's with you and he's for you and who could be against you, it's like, man, like why are we why are we fearing and worrying about the stuff that we're doing, like let's go out and be bold and let's go out and like be adventurous and like let's take ground. Yeah. Advance the kingdom, man. That's why and why would we ever think that anything in the future would ever go bad?

1:06:54 You know, because because if you if you if you really believe it's like it's like Ephesians 2, you know, Ephesians 2:10 is one of my favorite verses in the Bible where it says we're God's workmanship created in advance. We're created in it for we we're God's workmanship created to do the good works he prepared for us in advance a long time ago. So it's like the faith part is despite how we feel, despite the fear that we may feel or whatever, the faith part is saying, you know what, God put me on the earth to do the to do the best I can. He put me on the earth to do good and to live that way. And that's me making my life a masterpiece every day. Like that's me mastering. When you've done that, you know, to me, you've mastered the art of living that God's God's given you a story to write. And when you step into that, like when you step into that, which which good situations and bad situations can cause us to go, man, I I have a deeper awareness of the responsibility that I have to live with faith because most people don't like this. the news, the news stuff we watch, the stuff we scroll through on social media, they don't have like even the people like you're saying that you're talking to that you're working with, they don't have a perspective that God's working everything together for our good.

1:08:14 Yeah. So, so then what what I think can happen to all of us is we have so many influences that are always taking place and it pulls us away from faith and pulls us into fear and then God, no, I need you to I need you for you. I need you for you and all the people that you have influence in their life, right? Yeah. I need you to have a positive expectation of the future and act as if everything's going to work out because I'm already doing that, right? But if you operate in fear, you'll miss you you you miss because to me the thing with Jonathan, if I could have a conversation with him, that would be really cool because I don't think I don't think for him it was perhaps the Lord. I think he really, you know, faith is living by divine risk. It's not just risk. It's like, well, God showed up all the other battles that we fought.

1:09:07 Yeah. So, what if we just kept acting as if God's going to show up, right? So, it wasn't it was a perhaps the Lord, but not based in imagination. It was a perhaps the Lord that was based in man, I've seen God show up so many times in my life. I've seen God show up so many times on the battlefield that we're just going to act as if he's going to he's going to show up this next time because we know he is at some point. Yeah. This is the same Jonathan who watched a young boy slay this the biggest giant they'd ever seen before and then charged and took over the Philistines. Like he's got some he wasn't he wasn't like throwing a pot shot, right? Like this was not the first time he'd seen God move. And that's exactly what you're saying. It's like every single battle, every single victory that's what that's what I'm saying. God doesn't just like call us into the unknown and we have no idea who he is. He prepares us to go into what he's prepared. And I love that you brought up Ephesians 2:10 because oftentimes the good works aren't the way that we picture them. Good works is like, "Oh, I crushed it in business and I gave somebody $100,000." Like, "Yeah, that's a really nice work for you and Rian doing what you're doing in the hospital with the doctors, man." They're like, I'm sure they're like, "Nobody comes in and acts this way, you know?"

1:10:15 Right. Well, they I could tell cuz I'm telling them how it's going to go the whole time. I could tell that they're like, "Oh, we've had these kind of people in here before that they're delusional and like if it doesn't go their way, they're going to be fragile." Because they were trying to handle me with kid gloves. And I said to her, I said, "Look, I understand what I'm saying to you. Sounds like I'm trying to just project something on because I'm afraid." I said, "I'm not afraid." I said, "I want to be very clear. I've not felt fear for one moment. I just know that God's in control and I know how this is going to work out." I was like, "You don't need to worry." I was like, "I'm not one of these these people that's like trying to like keep my my my safe little harbor from my mind because I can't face the reality of what could happen." I said, 'I know exactly what could happen, but I know that God's in control. And it was so the lady very kindly said to me, she's like, 'Yeah, but it can be scary. You know how many people tried to like tell me how how scared you should be? Yeah. And to tell and not only not only to tell me how scared I should be, but to like from a place of a good heart acknowledge like, hey, this is scary. I I I mean, I had so many people say that and and I and I the nurse in particular, she said, hey, you know, like it's okay, you know, it's it's normal to feel afraid. And I said to her, I said, "I don't feel afraid at She's like, "Yeah, but it's like you're dealing with things that you're uncertain about." And I said, she's like, "You know, it's the unknown." I said, "We're called to the unknown because we are like that to me is Proverbs 3:5 and 6, which is a life scripture. Lean not on your understanding means that you're not going to get it." And if the sooner you you become okay with the only certainty you have is that God is with you and that he's that he is good, great. Now I can go into any uncertain situation. And and so it's like but but people try to plate your fear and almost encourage you into in it because it's so quote unquote normal. And it's like no, that's the stuff we got to fight against. And so I love that when you say we're uh for the good works he's prepared for us to do like you know author's note the good works won't look like what you think they will. You know what I mean? They're the good works as God defines them. It's it's like I love that quote says opportunity. Most people miss opportunity because it's dressed up in overalls and looks like hard work. Guess what? God's good works look like you going through difficulty, but you're doing it with him and and having faith.

1:12:15 So, so, uh, bring us last, you know, I think for you, last thought, like how does someone like if you're talking to someone who needs to cultivate that? Yeah. And needs to step into that. It's like we're not gonna pray that they experience some kind of tragedy, but what is it that a person can do in their life to really go, "Okay, I need to step into living like Nick." Like Nick's living in this situation every day. Yeah. Look what God cares about, man. It says, "You will seek me and you will find me when you seek me with your whole heart." It is always about your heart. And what I will tell you is if you if you get your heart right with God, you will find him meet you in a way that you cannot even imagine. It's better than you can This happens on the day-to-day basis. Like I said, it's all the work that we don't want to do. It's all the problems we wish would just go away. It's all the things that we rehearse. Whenever you have, I don't know how I'm going to meet meet this bill. I don't think my relationship's going to work out. What if my kids have this? Those are the opportunities, if you can see them, that God is using to train you. Because I will tell you, like I said, I didn't want to go on at length, even though we've we have done. There's been times before this where I've had opportunities to fear on a much lesser scale in the grand scheme of things, but it was still very real to me. You know, I had I got pressed for finance a couple years ago where I had two weeks of money left and I'm the I'm the provider for my family.

1:13:36 I had two weeks of money left and this is the first time I felt that grace of God. I I and if you know anything about my upbringing, I grew up in a lot of scarcity and so like financial uh like my sunburn where you touch it and you go like oh don't touch it was finance like God if you could just make sure everything goes well financially I'll take on pretty much anything else but that was my just make sure this is okay and we all have that for some of us if our kids for some of us it's our marriage some of us it's it's our health you know we all have that thing it's like ah just don't do that one God or just don't touch that like as long as that's okay and what those become is false idols in our life and we don't like to say it like that but That really is an idol. When you need something to be okay before you can be okay with God, that's an idol. And so I remember being tight on money. And in that moment, like I pressed into God and I I sought some wise counsel, but I pressed into God and I said, "Lord, I trust you." And and I had to really be okay with potentially running out of money and all the, you know, terribleness that would come from that. And man, what I learned in that moment was was I felt this same grace that I I'm experiencing now where God showed up and I felt this sharpness. And I remember I I begin to uncover principles and I begin to do things in my business that like and work them. And I actually began to enjoy it. I remember I was like, man, I'm actually kind of enjoying being this tight. Like I would literally go chase and work something out and I would get enough money for one more week. And instead of being like, oh, when's this going to be over? I was like, dude, I'm kind of liking this, you know? And like I was just getting in it, man. I was in the mix and I was like finding God just like showing me things in in this area. And and what I'll tell you is we all have that opportunity right now. But if you try and do it on your own and you don't get to the place having your heart right means having your heart in neutral which means you're not set on the outcome. It means that you truly can get to a place where you're like Lord I don't want my wife in my case it was Lord I don't want my wife to die but I 100% trust you. That is actual neutral. Meaning if she dies or if she stays like I 100% trust you.

1:15:27 You're still good. I just want you. That is heart and neutral. And so if you're facing the financial difficulty, I'm not saying like you just stop and give up and just go like, well, I guess that's what God wanted. No, that's not that. You work and you you work the principles. You do everything you know to do, but you trust that even if that happens, God has God is in control, man. When you can get to that place that your heart's in neutral about whatever it is, I'm telling you, you will find God that he meets you there. But you have to like he God is going to develop you. And what that means is that you're going to start off slaying lions and bears before you slay giants. Which means you're going to have to do these things in smaller uh proportions before you come to the big one. And and that's how you un that's how God grows you to your next is it's always you start with the you start with winning those small battles. So wherever you're at, man, press into him. Seek him wholeheartedly. Get your heart in neutral and just and and know him. Uh if if you don't if you feel like that sounds daunting, get with some people and get discipled. Get with more mature Christians. If you feel like you're on that path, press into his word. Learn to worship him in your own time in your day-today that like you turned me on to the practice of the presence of God by Brother Lawrence. And what he defined, how he got to the point is he said the presence of God was so uh so prevalent in his life because God was never far from his thoughts. And that's been part of what I feel like God has developed in me is that in all the things that I do in, you know, like it says, I pray without ceasing. When I'm when I'm working, I'm like, Lord, I know you're with me. when I'm trying when I'm serving a client doing something that seems like God would not even care about it. I'm working on marketing. I'm like, Lord, I want to do this to be pleasing to you. You find all those things and then like God just shows up and it is the most amazing thing, man. So, long answer to a short question.

1:17:08 No, it's beautiful, man. No, I think uh you know, scripture says God says to us in scripture, he says, "If you draw close to me, I'll draw close to you." And I think that's that's the freedom of choice that God gives us, you know. And we've we've never done we've never done this on a podcast, but I think having a um having a revelation of God's grace really starts with understanding that your whole life is a gift from God. You know, as a gift is a gift of God's grace that God's given me a life to live that, you know, is really his journey. He's the author of my story. And some of you that are listening to this, you might be like, man, I just don't have a relationship with God. like I don't really perceive God that way. So, it's really it's really simple and I just want you to to pray this prayer. If that's some if that's something you know that you want that you know you want Jesus Christ to be the Lord of your life, we'll just have you pray this prayer right now. And that's that's dear Jesus, repent. I repent of my sins and I give you my life. And that's that's is and say that out loud. The Bible says if you confess with your mouth and believe in your heart that Jesus Christ is Lord, you'll be saved. It's not just about being saved. It's about acknowledging this gift of grace. It's about acknowledging that your whole life is a gift from God. That's a grace gift. And the thing I always say that I got from Bill Hall, he's an author on discipleship. He said, "Follow Jesus and he'll teach you everything you need to know." And so that's right.

1:18:28 If you're at the start of the journey, it can be daunting like with what Nick's saying. But what I encourage everybody to do is open up the Bible, get the Bible, download the Bible, uh open up the Bible, and start in the book of John. You see in the if you start in the other gospels, they're great, but there John gives the meaning. John John says, "Here's the meaning of Jesus's life." And if you read the New Testament through in the book of John, I promise you the Holy Spirit will speak to you. God will God will teach you everything you need to know, and he'll lay out He'll lay out what your next steps are. So, thanks, Nick. This is really special, man. Thank you for being willing to share that this week. Well, I I was ready to go uh finish up our first episode, man. And I I appreciate the opportunity to to be able to do this, man. I um from the very first moment that this started, I just I wanted God to be glorified. And so, I want to as as much as I can, man, whatever I can pour out to help other people know God and to truly experience his grace and presence in their life, man, I just want him to be glorified.

1:19:27 So, um it's honored. It's truly like I truly feel honored to be able to do it. And man, I want to do this for as many people as I possibly can because I want people to know God and to truly live what it is to live unleashed and to be living uh, you know, with a consciousness of his presence. You will never want to go back to to not having the consciousness of his presence once you experience it. I promise you that. Well, just like life, man, we have a plan for this podcast, but God interrupted us with his grace. So, it was worth it was worth telling the story. I think we're pretty much the left turn podcast at this point. like we start off one way and it's like we end up somewhere else, but it's always wonderful. Thank you for listening to The Dialog. Make sure to like, share, and subscribe. And also, if you think someone else would enjoy this, please send it to them. If you want to get in touch or learn more about me, what I think, speak, and write, you can go to joshuacraft.com, or you can also follow Nick and I on Instagram. Our handles are in the show notes. We'll see you next time.