The Dialog
Feedback, correction and character
Why we hate being corrected, why people stop giving us feedback, and how character actually grows. Correction, self-talk, blame, people pleasing, values and virtue.
Ten episodes from my podcast, The Dialog. Each one is a search for truth where ancient philosophy, history and theology meet modern life.
- Values vs. virtues: what's the difference? 1.10
A core value is the criteria you use to make decisions. A virtue is something that's always right, always good and always true. Your values only work when they're built on virtues.
- How to stop letting your past define you 1.27
You define the moment. The moment doesn't define you. Change what you believe a moment from your past meant, and you change the decisions you make today.
- How to stop people pleasing: choose who you'll disappoint 1.28
Choose who you're willing to disappoint. You can't be what everyone needs you to be, and your life was never about you in the first place.
- Why do we hate being corrected? 1.31
Pride. Correction goes against our way, so we push it away. It gets easier when you see that correction is about your behavior, not who you are.
- Why do people stop giving you feedback? 1.32
Not because they don't believe you can change. Because they don't think you want to. The goal is to get so good at hearing correction that you start correcting yourself.
- What is your fatal flaw? The Greek word behind sin 1.33
A desire to do the wrong thing, and every one of us has it. The New Testament word for sin, hamartia, is the fatal flaw. The answer isn't just to stop sinning. It's to order your appetites.
- Are you saying what people need to hear? 1.36
A great idea isn't enough. What you say is always at the mercy of a person's level of understanding, so think about what people need to hear, not just what you want to say.
- The voices in our head 1.37
Most of the voice in your head isn't on your side. The question is whether you keep listening to it or start talking back.
- Whatever you blame controls you 1.38
If it's not your fault, it's not your responsibility, so blame hands your life to things you can't control. Take responsibility and you take your power back.
- What do you do with feedback you don't want? 1.39
Connect the dots. When the feedback lines up with what the people who love you have been saying for years, that's where you need to grow. And how you deliver the truth matters too.
Watch the playlist on YouTube · Every episode